हितबुद्धि
Hitabuddhi…
No. Not 'hit a buddy'… that's "hita-bood-dhi"…
Moving on.
This translates as 'well-disposed' or friendly minded. We all appreciate when someone is this to us - but how are we to them?
Vedanta concentrates on getting the mind straight, and everything else will follow suit. It is the ultimate self-development tool. There are no quick fixes, no magic mixes, extirpating elixirs, potent potions or even any ten-minute tablets. What is continuously stated with patience and emphasis is that purushaartha - self-effort - will pay dividends.
Any philosophy we choose to see us through life, if it is worth its salt, will impress on the adherent that steady and regular application of the exercises and disciplines within it are required to manifest what is promised.To apply oneself in this way requires a keen mind, a dedicated mind and a kind mind.
A mind which is constantly flitting hither and thither (phapharaayat!) will not succeed. Distraction by any external thing which attracts and attaches us to it will cause the mind to resist the focus required for this kind of self-development.
One of the measures as to our state of mind is how we are disposed towards others, (as mentioned in this Ahimsa post). We can use all the sweet words we like, but if the intention behind them is less than sweet, those very same words become sour and even poisonous. Perhaps not directly to those who hear them - but certainly to our own inner being! Softness of mind is not the same thing as weakness of mind. This is often the mistake made. To be gentle can require great strength of character - particularly in stressful situations. Knowing when to be हितानुकारिन्/hitaanukaarin - act in a manner which is right and kind - can mark us apart in a crowd. It is not a condition we can summon upon demand. We need to be instinctively kind. It IS something we can cultivate. First, we have to be aware of our prickles, our spines. Watch when those barbs are released from within us. They may not reach the voice or the hands, but the thoughts have risen and disturbed the equilibrium. To point and blame another for disrupting our thoughts is pointless. We alone have control of our thoughts. We alone are responsible for how we respond to any situation. Others' opinions and deeds may have the potential to harm us - but it is up to us whether we permit this or not. If we have cultivated true kindness, true hitabuddhi, we will be able to turn without harm. Remember there are many points of view in the world and many ways of delivering those views. Being hitabuddhi means that we can listen, but we do not necessarily have to take them on. We have the choice to reject, to turn away (hrit/harati), but we do not have to do so unkindly… be firm, but be fair.  |
Dear Yamini,
ReplyDeleteAs always, your words are balm to the soul--wise, soft and healing.
What struck me while reading your post was that even though your H sits on the opposite end of my choice of H today (hurt), we're talking about the same thing.
Love the synchronicity.
And this: Watch when those barbs are released from within us.
LOL. I love that this word means the opposite of "hit a buddy." That is so true, that "We alone have control of our thoughts" and "are responsible for how we respond to any situation." I often feel as if the world would be so much a better place and we'd get rid of 90% of problems (rough estimate) if we could just all realize that - and then of course deal with the other 10%. But sometimes it feels as if 90% of problems are people just shifting around and amplifying grievances until anthills become mountains. I think that's why it may seem strange but a lot of times people will be like "what are you going to do about X" and the best answer is "nothing." I will sit here and do nothing. Eventually, you'll figure this out or blow each other up or not. Either way, me getting into this does not help at all. It is so like that at many times of conflict, even when there is that grain of legitimate grievance. Spoiler: I like to think *everyone* is my friend or will be one day and try to be well-disposed to everyone I guess? This is SO much harder than it sounds on a computer screen as words. Peace.
ReplyDeleteAnne from annehiga.com
Hari Om
DeleteIndeed, everyone is a friend - until they prove themselves an enemy! But even then, if we have it in us, we can turn them once again to friends... Yxx
Thank you for this -- "Softness of mind is not the same thing as weakness of mind". That's something that I have always believed. Unfortunately, not many people understand this.
ReplyDeleteHari Om
DeleteIt is indeed a much misunderstood - even maligned - facet of personality. Thank you for all your lovely and pertinent comments, Pradeep-bhai! Yxx
I very much believe gentleness requires more strength!
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