Saturday Satsang

Hari Om

I have cause to share with you the truth told here by Gurudev. Ever a spiritual seeker, I eventually ended up as a Sunday School teacher in the Scots Kirk (Presbyterian). There was an issue, however. I was not one for simply regurgitating 'the party line.' I had questions and would ask them and there came a point where that brought about a 'divorce.' I could not reconcile my own personal relationship with Yeshu and the Higher Essence with some of the doctrine that was put forth. 

I began to research other faiths. I asked questions. 

Then came a point where having to get on with life, working all hours in a career that was eating my soul and burning my body, took priority. For a period of about six years, there was little - correction - there was no saadhana from me. Not even the simplest of prayers. And there was a desert within me. Every now and then I might remember to ask for the guidance that was once so forthcoming from the connection I treasured. It did not come. It had been spoiled by my succumbing to the crevices that appear when one is wholly absorbed in the physicality of life.

My health suffered. My mental health included. There was an ache so deep - an ache of emptiness. "Positively bad effects."

Then came that time when all those bad effects caused me to take a positive step. I fell to the floor and emptied myself at the feet of the Lord. I cried for the return of that connection that had been my constant companion from childhood. I owned up to my errors and begged forgiveness and that in reconnecting, I would follow any instruction.

That was the night Yeshu poured His Love fully upon me once more, chided me for thinking He had been absent, whilst it was only that I had become deaf and blind for a time. It had been my time 'in the desert,' required to understand one's weaknesses and to appreciate the benefits of spiritual practice. 

That was the night Yeshu wished for me to take a different path - and he handed me over to Sri Rama.

That was the night, Yamini was born.

From there it was a case of rebuilding. Setting in place a spiritual discipline once more - which I quickly came to know as saadhana. Following the lead from Ram-ji, Chinmaya Mission came my way. More importantly, Advaita Vedanta found its way into my understanding. I will not tell you it was easy. It remains not easy. That's the point. Saadhana is for testing ourselves and our resolve. It is the grist to the mill. Without saadhana our persona becomes gross. Saadhana refines us. Never let it go...