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Kharu - cruel, harsh, foolish, desirous of improper or forbidden things (covetousness)
'kh' is the closest to 'q' in the Devanagari script.
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| Whatchya say? |
The swamis and sadhus can be most loving and supportive, but when they see that one is truly on the path, they will surprise one - nay, ambush! - so that the grime and untouched corners of one's being get properly cleaned. It can seem most harsh - (says the ego).
It is a simple fact known by all who have seriously attempted any form of self-development program that the negatives have to be faced. Think housework; unless you take out the rubbish, the house will, eventually, start to stink, and no amount of incense or proprietary perfumed sprays are going to cover it. Politically, we can point to all the positives that have developed to create a society, but all too readily avert our eyes and minds from the battles with the dark side and the costs to some areas to benefit others. This can only go on for so long before it all becomes a festering mess.
We all have kharu in us, but not all of us can recognise it and make amends for it. Even in the small day-to-day things; the harsh word to the loved one at the end of a tiring day, the silly joke that backfired on our colleagues, the jealousy we felt when someone else got something we wanted ourselves. You know it - sorry is the hardest word. To ask for forgiveness is, for many people, a submissive thing. It means quashing the ego, and it can be almost impossible for some.
Forgiveness will be addressed a little more in a later post, but it is important to know that it exists and that it is an empowering thing - not just to ask for it but also to give it. It greatly helps in overcoming the kharu at all levels.
The whole world can seem to be driven by kharu. How to counteract it? As always, it comes back to the individual. Each must ensure that they are as clear and unobstructed in their personalities as it is possible to be. If that means coming face to face with the hard facts of who we are, so be it. Brushing things into a corner, pulling the curtains over the facts of history, only leads to the potential for 'time bombs'. Almost without fail, life will find a way to shine the torch on those corners, to pull back the curtains, and if we have not prepared ourselves, it will hurt.
Sometimes, we are the bearers of truth in a situation that has been obfuscated with others' interpretations of events or their investment in who they want us to be (versus who we are). We then receive their kharu upon us. The hurt felt has to be measured against our ego; is there some truth in what they feedback to us? Is there anything worth the effort of correction? Are they totally missing the point, and is it time to move on? Are they even directing cruelty specifically at us, or are we, in our ego, taking it upon ourselves when it has nothing to do with us?!
It's a complicated business, this becoming whole, congruent human beings. When faced with the aachaarya who keeps demanding 'who are you?', it is only when we can face the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, warts, kharu and all, that we can respond even remotely close to who we actually are.
I guess a lot of all this stems from our tendency to compare one another. We forget that we are all different individuals, creations of God, or even Gods in human forms, if one would want to look at that way. We all have our own different needs, limitations, strengths and weaknesses. And we all need to be contented with what we have.
ReplyDeleteHari Om
DeleteKharu does indeed stem from the concept of otherness. Where there is another, we enter a competitive space on many different levels. It is necessary, therefore, to be alert to each having their own gunas. That said, depending on how far along the karma trail our jiva has travelled, to 'be contented' would mean settling only for that and not seeking to further our soul trip! Certainly, we can be in a position of accepting our lot, in order to manage the day to day - but do we have higher goals in mind? Are we content to let our spiritual selves settle for what's on offer, or do we have that spark to dig deeper, wander wider, haul ourselves higher..? Yxx
This reminds me of a coworker friend who recommended I look into shadow work, which means investigating your dark side. I borrowed a book from the library where I work. Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, and one other author wrote about confronting your dark side. True story. I left this book (finished the Chopra part) and my prized notebook out by accident. And they got thoroughly drenched by rain. (I'd been looking for them for a while, completely forgot I left them on the table.) When I went to pay for the book off work hours, because it was ruined, my coworker "happened" to be the one at the desk and we agreed it was funny. I have a lot of synchronicities with this person who I think is spiritually very deep, which is why I took their advice. They teased me about the book incident for a while, all in good fun. Afterward, it illuminated to me that a lot of times my problem is I don't really have a shadow side. A certain kind of person will look for flaws in me that aren't there, I think because of their own issues/insecurities and wanting me to be demonstrably inferior to them. It is a strange-sounding thing that happens. I try to avoid those people, because I know I can't help them. I grew up in a very dysfunctional, abusive household and my spiritual life/God helped me through that, to not get caught in a cycle of destruction. I'm not perfect, but I believe that is part of what makes me perfect. To me, the whole thing made perfect sense in a way that reminded me it may be painful, but the rewards and peace is so great. Reading Chopra and his take on Jung's collective unconsciousness and how we can help repair the whole world within our consciousness made total sense to me. No one needed to tell me that, because I know, but it helped me to hear it. I know it's all a bundle of paradoxes to say "I already knew" but "it helps to hear", but I think it all makes sense. It is my sincere belief that many people would be much happier if they would stop trying to evade unpleasant truths, embrace them and pay the fine/accept the messiness of life/whatever. Which is why I do. That way people can accept you or not as you are, and you can learn to accept yourself or not. It always irritates me when people say things like "but you don't understand" and "that's not how the world works" and so on. Anyway that shadow work incident was one of the funniest - this is not a coincidence things ever. I am much more careful about bringing books inside and not just leaving them outside "for a minute" anymore. Not always but much more aware. That was funny but also embarrassing. I felt blessed I could afford to pay for the book and be like so I got a book on that subject you recommended, good news and bad news. So many people get into situations where they can't/don't know how to deal and I try to compassionately pray for them. In a non-intrusive way. Anyway have a great day!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
Delete... now you own the book and have not simply had access to it for a limited time. This permits reading, and re-reading. This is the case with any such text (and particularly the scriptures), that we must repeatedly visit them with as empty a mind and heart as we can. Each time, another pebble of understanding and Knowledge will arrive.
I understand that 'yes I knew that' sense; but have learned through fifty years of intellectual pursuit and experiential application that I knew nothing. All I had done at each point was reach a junction with a signpost. I could have stayed by that and moved no further along the path, or taken the signage for what it was - a pricker of curiosity to see why it was the knowledge I thought I knew was chasing me down to tell me again...
We can read these texts and find in them the 'confirmation bias' that affirms what we know so far... or we can read these texts with the question, what further can be added to my knowledge
YAM xx
Like your other post, this one is about questions too.
ReplyDeleteThe questions you bring up in this post, however, are even more tricky to answer than the ones related to the virus.
But, as always, your analogies help.
The path to 'the truth and the whole truth (kharu and all)' demands discipline from us. Discipline and introspection.
And then hopefully, an aachaarya will appear when the student is ready:)
Thank you Yamini.
The true path is tough. Enlightenment doesn't come easily.
ReplyDelete