Whispering Wednesday

Hari OM

The other day I pulled out a little book of aphorisms, and a word jumped out at me.

ACCEPT

It was in the context of "...what is the key to happiness? Be ready to accept that sadness comes..." Which required a little pondering. Did it mean that sadness was an inherent part of happiness? Was happiness dependent upon knowing sadness? 

Could it be that accepting the ebb and flow of that which keeps us cheerful in balance with that which makes us tearful results in a level that might be referred to as contentment and that this is the happiness we so desire?

Sometimes, defining what makes us sad can be as numinous as that which makes us happy. Although, it might be easier to list many things we don't like and equate these to sadness. Not liking something is not the same thing, but it gives us something to criticise because we are not prepared to dig within ourselves to properly understand our mood. Criticism, anger, and jealousy all play their part in keeping us in a negative mood, which presents us with sadness. 

On the other hand, we equate happiness with having things and people around us that lift our spirits - usually based upon the amount of focus things and folk lend to our ego.

For as long as we live in a world where we perceive plurality and place upon that the responsibility for our happiness, we must learn to deal with the inevitable disappointments such externalisation brings.

The Sanskrit word for acceptance (forbearance, fortitude) is "titiksha." To best employ this trait, we need to first have a good idea of what is worth our trouble and what is best left alone. That requires that the first two steps in the 'saadhana chatushtaya' are rehearsed. Viveka - discrimination, and vairaagya - withdrawal/self-control. These lead to the third step, samaadhi-shatka-sampatti (sixfold values), of which titiksha is one. As we build our personalities using these guidelines, contentment settles almost by itself. Acceptance comes readily.

Acceptance can serve in so much of life. From the small things of having to adapt to a different food product from the one we went to buy - accept what is available and pine not for the lack of another - all the way through to the big things which are likely to involve life decisions such as where we live. Has there been a flood? Complaining doesn't help the repair and continuation of living. Accept it happened, be disappointed, yes, but now get on with it. 

Acceptance does not mean one should become a doormat. It does, however, mean not getting into unnecessary battles or worrying ourselves quite literally into sickness. On the contrary, it is one of our great strengths if we cultivate it well.